Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Importance of the Re-Write!: Part 1

Part 1: Delivery and the Town's Children


Image #1: The first obvious change from today's version of Bobby's Biggest Bubble is the long time spent getting the gumballs. It took an extra 4 pages for the gumballs to finally enter the story. Originally, I thought it was important to show how the gumballs arrived at Bobby's home. But when I analyzed what parts of the story I thought were more enjoyable and what was lacking . . . the arrival of the crate just didn't seem that important.
Image #1: Poor Melman the Mailman struggling to get the package delivered on time.
Image #2: A whole group of neighborhood children were develop as supporting characters. Their job here was to imagine what could be inside the mystery crate. About 10 children characters were developed.  The original plan was to eventually write a "Really Tall Tale " for each of the town's children. (But that concept was put aside, since I have many other stories I want to tell first.) Seeing this page now, it feels like a lot of unnecessary filler. 
Image #2: The neighborhood children guessing what was inside the crate
Image #3: This page was basically used as seen, with the exception of Wilbie, the town's book smart kid.  Wilbie was originally going to be the best friend/sidekick to Bobby, but Otter seemed like a better choice to play a sidekick/fall guy. I still like the idea of the polka dotted gorilla . . . but that would have distracted from what was happening in the image -- which was the opening the crate.
Image #3: The whiz kid, Wilbie, was edited out the book.
Image #4: I thought by showing Bobby sharing the gumballs with all of the children, it would help establish Bobby as a very likable character. This was a cute page, one I wanted to keep for the book. But eventually this had to be cut out and replaced by a 2-page spread of the gumballs spilling out of the crate. The 2-page spread does a great job of showing the huge amount of gumballs flowing from the crate . . .  far better than if it all happened on a single page.
Image #4: Bobby sharing the goods

[ Note: You can see Otter in the distance as an outcast; longing to be a part of fun - but he stubbornly refuses to be friendly. More about that in Part 2 tomorrow. ] 

Go to Part Two